Relationships never end in an instant. They usually go through a process of decline, along with ups and downs, for many months or years. Much of the time, one person in the relationship is holding on to what they want the relationship to be, all while losing sight of the possibility of achieving this.
Those who are going through a divorce, in particular, struggle to let go. This is often because of the amount they have invested in the relationship, and how much they have equated their identity with being a spouse. If you are approaching the end of your marriage, it is important that you do not underestimate the importance of closure and that you take action to pursue it.
Ask questions and give honest answers
For two people to gain closure after the ending of a marriage, both individuals need to gain the truth behind why the relationship ended. If this information is not gained, one or both spouses will likely spend huge amounts of time ruminating and reflecting on what they could have done differently. To gain this information, you need to sit down with your ex, and be prepared to be honest with them. Ask them the questions that you feel that you need to know and try to be as honest as you can.
Allow yourself time to grieve
Although learning the truth can be painful, it is often necessary. When you have the information you need, you can then take the time to fully process the end of the relationship, and eventually move on.
A divorce requires not only emotional closure but legal and financial closure, too. This is why you need to start the divorce process early on so that you can begin this journey in parallel.